Whoever wrote the marriage lines sure knew what she was doing. I have my doubts that it was a he. They don't possess that level of sensitivity, you know.
Suma tagged me for 10 things I hate about men some few weeks back. Now how is it, that before marriage, men were so many in the universe, but after marriage, esp when you talk of things you dislike (and obviously would like changed- futile hope, I know, but I still live in hope) all men distil into the one I married?
I do love him to bits tho' I don't show it- not at all in these these past coupla years, my dear husband, but I do love you . LOTS. More probably than when I fell in love with you, for if I'd known then that you had all these, gasp! frailties, I would have run miles away. OUT of earshot.
LOL! Sigh! But you don't know before getting married, do you, that-
- Fella loves his morning cuppa tea more than me? It sure looks like that to me, when sometimes my delay in making that can lead to most Godawful row. Bah! I never liked tea too much, but now I positively HATE it. Not the husband, please note.
- Before getting married, I also never knew that he would leave his shirt/trouser pocket's pickings on the dining table. The tables we dined on prior to mariage had these lovely waiters who cleaned. I find I don't like having become the waiter in our house.
- And oh! how could I relegate this to third place? the b****y TV remote takes pride of place. While we were courting, and even in the first year of our marriage, books reigned. We discussed loads of stuff. with laughter and love. And what TV we watched, we did so together. With no thought to where the remote was, for there was place on that slim diwan only for the two of us.
But now,OOOOOOOOO! yeh kahaaan aa gaye hum..???? If you asked the husband what single thing if lost, would make said husband desperate and lonesome, it wouldn't be me, people, but the darned remote!!!! Gah! I call it my Sout. Anybody know how to throttle the living daylights out of a remote control?
This is common, Suma.
Husband- Wife, do you knnow where xyz is????
Wife- Its on/under/beside whatever.
Husband- Where? Its not here.
Wife- It is there. Below/above whatever.
Husband- I can't see it anywhere here...
Wife- Look properly, husband.
Husband- It is NOT here. Why can't you come and help me find it?
Wife- *pulling the damn thing out from exactly where she so clearly told him it was* then WHAT IS THIS????
******* *** *******
- Prior to marriage, I didn't know that I would have to be the one to put his smelly home wear into the laundry, never him.
- Also, be the one picking the many newspapers splayed on the sofa, never him.
- be the one bothered about keeping the house clean.
Another oft repeated scene earlier
Husband- wife, can you massage my neck/shoulders/legs for me, please?
Wife- Ok. sit in front of me *proceeds to give a thorough massage, kneading and straightening all the knots out*
Husband- ah! that was divine, wife. Thank you.
Wife- ignoring, but gratified grunt.
Companionable silence reigns.
Wife- Husband, can you massage my neck/shoulders/legs for me, please?
Husband- For you, anything, my darling. *proceeds to do come chop-chop actions which end up giving the wife a bigger, focussed pain instead of earlier vague ache.
Wife- Husband. Do it like I do it for you. Not like this.
Husband- This is how my barber does it for me. But if you say so. *Proceeds to do same chop-chop in a different area, ensuring two focussed areas of pain*.
Wife- Husband. Forget I asked you to do anything. *Moves away and sits fuming that the fellow can emulate the barber, but not his wife, who he also agrees does it so well.*
Husband- *Puts on a good-husband-snubbed-by-never-satisfied-wife-look and- goes back to watching tv!
Ominous silence reigns.
Enter Sonny boy.
I certainly didn't expect to be throwing up 24 hrs, all 8 months while Hubby gorged on all things delicious that were ostensibly brought for me. But he kinda made up for that with the patience with which he would get up a 2 am and make dosas for preggie me. :-)
It was not fair that only I ended up getting sliced up to get Sonny boy out, but the smile on his face when he held Sonny boy first in his arms made up for that too.
Alright. Lets get back to business. We're talking hate here, not love. And this time, its about real issues.
- I do not like being EXPECTED to do everything for Sonny boy, do all housework and go out and work too. I was not born doing all these things, anymore than he was. I might be doing it, cos we need to do things together, for us to live the kind of life we want and want to give Sonny boy as well. But then, I picked up certain skill sets along the way, and I would love it if he did too. That he dosn't think it a big favour done to me if one day he does certain things for Sonny boy. Friend, he's as much your son as mine, ergo, we need to re-work job profiles and responsibilities.
- I am NOT your mother, nor do I want to be her. In all fairness, I do not expect you to be my father. We have a son to whom we can each be mother and father. I am your wife. And you are my husband. Its an equal partnership. If I stay at home and look after our home and son, then too its equal- bringing up your son oftentimes requires more energy and patience than getting business (and is also more rewarding). if I also work outside the home, then its more equal.
- And my biggest crib of all, my dear husband. I do NOT like our home being demeaned to the likes of a hotel. Where people come in and go as they please. With no accountability whatsoever towards us and our home. With absolutely no love lost between said parties. I would not expect you to put up with such guests from my end for 6 long b****y years. I would either have set the people right, failing which I would have sent them packing. LONG back. Not left sores to fester to a point beyond return. Where they are currently. And you still refuse to see it.
I pass this tag to whosoever would like to take it up.
2 days ago