Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Down in the dumps.

After nearly two months, the longest she's ever stayed with us, Mummy has gone back home.

Sonny boy hasn't yet registered that Wed morn when he comes back from school, Ammamma isn't going to be there to welcome him with loving arms. To cajole him into eating, and rock him into sleep. To give him his milk in the evening. To play with him till Acha and Amma come back.

The pains she takes to get Sonny boy do things happily, I wouldn't even think of. I would dream of them, yes, cos she's shown me the way with umpteen other younger cousins of mine.
She coaxes and wheedles and teases and-that all important thing- DISTRACTS Sonny boy into doing the things he ought to, without ever losing her temper, or her calm.
She plays with him the silliest of games that get him giggling all the way behind her. And not one of these games include a toy. Truly inventive, Sonny boy's Ammamma, she pooh-pooh's the need for toys to keep kids amused.
Her stories are the weirdest ever, but the way she relates it, even I would listen, and I'm almost in my dotage, so you can imagine how floored Sonny boy is.
Even when she's tired she still keeps going, with love and forbearance,where I would have just flopped down, or ranted and raved.

In all the days she has been here, she has dealt with Sonny boy with SUCH patience, never raising her voice in anger, even once against him. How do the grand mommies do it? Win them over, sans whacks and rants? If I could be half as good a Mom to Sonny boy as she is to me, I'd consider Sonny boy blessed. And having her home has meant so MUCH to me.

Of course, the days she has been here, I haven't had to think about the day's menu. She took care of the kitchen, while I took care of Sonny boy and the other rooms. All I had to do was feed ourselves and then get the leftovers into the fridge. She has been a HUGE help. looking on the domestic side of things.

But, then, that is not what I am going to miss.
I will miss the way she brightens up my day when we see each other and smile, first thing in the morning.
I will miss the way Sonny boy looks for her in the morning and when assured that she is still there, comes running to me and hides his face in my legs with a smile of delight, not meeting her laughing eyes.
I will miss a loving smile from the doorway and a waving hand on the balcony, on my way to work.
I will miss my calls to her from office, and her grumble that she might as well be in Kerala than here, if all we got to do was talk over the phone!
I will miss her calls to me with updates/complaints on what 'Ninte mon' did/is doing/is going to do.
I will miss that feeling of peace, knowing that inspite of my absence, Sonny boy is being cared for by the best person in the world, second to none, not even me.
I will miss going out on weekends with her, holding her arm companionably and guidingly while we amble along malls, where she keeps eyeing a vacant seat!
I will miss my sister's frequent(er) calls, checking out on the excitement in our lives, enviously.
I will miss having her nodding off in the back seat while we return home from our tiring outings.
I will miss those programmes she keeps watching on tv, which I wouldn't dream of watching by myself.
I will miss her asking me to have more patience with Sonny boy while he and I do our homework.
I will miss the way she asks me to have more restraint when I get into one of those rages with the husband.
I will miss not being able to deposit Sonny boy with her when I am in danger of flying off the handle TOTALLY.
I will miss sitting on her bed at night and going over the day with her.
I will miss Sonny boy kissing and hugging her goodnight. Something which I don't do normally, myself, but always wish I did.

Oh, Mummy, I will miss you, period.
I love you.
Come back soon.


dipali said...

Such a beautiful post- trying to keep the tears in check:)))

Usha said...

So touching. We do begin to appreciate our mothers more when we ourselves become one, right?
I hope she comes back real soon.

Something to Say said...

ooo.... such a touching post. Why do mommies leave us and go back home?
I hope she comes back soon - for ur sake if not sonny's

WhatsInAName said...

I wrote such a nice comment.... where did it go? :(
Let me try to reframe.
I said
"I can understand your sorror and longing. Even though I have my ups and downs with my MIL, even though she may not be as close to me as my amma, I am glad for my kids that they have their grandparents around... for all the reasons you mentioned!
I do hope your amma returns to be with you!!!"

Moppet's Mom said...

Oh dear. I know how hard it is, and there's nothing much anyone can really say or do.

Hang in there - she'll be back soon!


karmickids said...

Oh what a beautiful post....Mummys should always be close at hand to run to whenever one needs a hug or just them being around. I know I would die if my mother was far from me, hats off to all of you who live in different cities from your mothers....

Just Like That said...

Evvybuddy: thanks for the empathy. Boo hoo Hoo

Swati said...

sweet post :)

Random Vignettes said...


Collection Of Stars said...

Oooh...I feel so sorry for you :(
Since it is more than a month since you wrote this post, are you doing okay now? Is your mom back?

You could be describing my mom :)
I am glad my mom is there to take care of my daughter when I am at work.