Monday, August 20, 2007

Pissed off...

I am pissed. I heartily dislike people I do not like, sleeping in my bed. That is an understatement. I am fanatic. About my bed, and my pillow and my towel and my comb.

I don't mind sharing the former two, but it is with difficulty that I share the last two with my husband and whenever he does, a blistering argument breaks out between us.
I don't mind sharing t-shirts with my Hubs, nor do I mind him struggling into my jeans when he has to make a quick trip down and can't be bothered to find his own. This has happened couple of times, after which he came back grumbling about how ladies jeans were so uncomfortable. Gentleman, I do not recall asking you to wear them.

But yeah, I am digressing from the main point which is bed, pillow, towel and comb, being shared by people other than the lawfully wedded husband.

Please don't misunderstand me. When I do have visitors, and when they happen to be elder than me/Hubs, I have absolutely no compunctions about giving up bed and room to them, and flopping down for the night on the good ol' mattress that served as our marital bed. The bed is as good as theirs for all the duration of their stay, post which I change the sheets and pillow cases again, and then, the bed is mine again.

After it has been re-established as MY bed, I do not like people slipping in and having a lie down on it. And, I don't know exactly why- I'm relatively more ok with my girlfriends, other women (who have reached as far as my bedroom) lying on it, but I HATE other men sleeping on my bed. I am pretty unreasonable in this matter. I do not like seeing strands of hair left around on my pillow when I know it is neither mine, nor my husband's. I prefer the fragrance of my shampoo to linger, not some other offensive smell.

Come to think of it, I do not like these persons using my bedroom either. My bedroom can possibly have nothing of somebody else's. And things of mine that are in MY bedroom, I do NOT want to share. Nor do I want to have things shifted, or unable to be accounted for. A bedroom is a private personal space, and if you are well liked, you will be welcome in that space. But if not, please keep off.

I am at a loss to know what to do with thick skinned pigs who will use my bedroom and my bed, and my pillow and my toiletries. The husband has no issues this way. He will not even begin to understand the vehemence behind this post.

But when there are designated beds for all people/guests in a house, I think people had better stick to their given spaces. Else things just might get out of hand. And a trying-to-be-nice-and- pleasant hostess might well turn into a shrew. And niceties be damned!

Do any of you feel this possessive about your space? Or am I just being a finicky, possessive hag?


Swati said...

I guess i am not that possessive , but yes sometimes I feel uncomfortable about people using my bedroom and bathroom. And I dont like people looking into my cupboard.

Moppet's Mom said...

Ooh, of course you're not being a possessive and finicky! Anyone, however closely related, poking around among your things in your bedroom is being an ill-mannered pig and is violating your privacy.

Random Vignettes said...

oh no u are not...god i DESTEST it when ppl use my bed and my bathroom..bad enough i have to share it with a man!!! Whenever I hve guests over and they use my bed I have to make sure that the bedspread is not rumpled even if it means doing it everytime they get up!
Hope THAT makes u feel better about urself!

Hip Grandma said...

i don't mind sharing my bed with a female relative/friend.I've never had the displeasure of having to let male guests use my bed and room.but the very thought is unacceptable.i don't like people touching me on the chin or putting an arm around my shoulders. I've done it rarely and it was spontaneous on those are perfectly okay.

Suki said...

I find the way you're acting perfectly normal. Why, I go into a fury when people take something - anything - from my room without telling me!
Your bed is your and your husband's property and the last thing someone should do is lie on it without either of your explicit permission.
If your husband has been permitting this, I think you need to have a talk with him instead of blaming the people who act overly niformal as a matter of course.

No one will judge you for trying to keep your personal possessions to yourself! (Well.. they will, doesn't mean you have to listen to them!)
Take care and good luck.

rbdans said...

ewww.. Other men on my bed.. Never happened so far, the thought itself is creepy. And who would want to use another person's toiletries? Yikes!
You are not being finicky or possessive. Most of us would feel the same way :)

Poppins said...

Hey you're not being finicky at all ! I agree that a bedroom is a private place. Even now, if I'm sitting the bedroom, and my MIL barges in without so much as a notice, I'll usher her out and make her retreat.

That gives her the message that if I'm in my room there's a good reason for it and that she's not meant to come there, sit on my bed and converse. Heck my mom doesn't do it (not when I go to her place, but when she's in my marital home)

DH is extremely finicky about others sleeping in our bed, he's known to avoid calling guests for stayovers if we don't have enough beds to go around

Just Like That said...

Every sweet one of you: Thank you!
And now I just need to nerve myself to be blisteringly rude the next time I catch someone lying on my bed. Insensitive bloody relatives!

Something to Say said...

Perfectly Normal - just like me :)
I too hate another man using my personal stuff - and using a common bathroom positively freaks me out.

Squiggles Mom said...

so who was it?
i hate sharing bathrooms.... that's my peeve.

WhatsInAName said...

Oh JLT... First of all, I must ask you how you manage to keep both yourself and hubby in shape..... enough to share jeans! Really. I need some tips!

Secondly, I agree.... i just cant share these things too. Maybe we shud put up some poster in our bedrooms!

Anitha said...

I too hate sharing beds and bathrooms, especially with other men. DH also doesn't understand when I fume if somebody uses our bed when they have their own assigned. Hope it makes you feel better.

karmickids said...

I know exactly where you are coming from. I have been known to strip the sheets and change them as the unwanted person got up from a quick nap. Needless to say, the person hasnt visited again. Nor do I really care.

Just Like That said...

WIN: Ok, I'll tell the truth- this was in the days before Sonny boy:-D

Anitha: Welcome to my blog. :-) Yup, you sure made me feel better.

Kiran: What do you do for permanent guests? :-(

Rohini said...

Fellow finicky, posessive checking in - I feel your pain!

~nm said...

Hope the people who pissed you off are gone now :D

Usha said...

I am not so possessive about my bed but I need my pillow and my blanket. Don't like to share my comb either but yes, I can understand your irritation. One is entitled to some private parts in one's own house after all!