Monday, May 26, 2008

Minutes of the meeting.

If I didn’t write this, dear Bangalore Mom would be like a character in Waiting for Godot- waiting for a post that never seemed to come… I couldn’t do that to her, could I? Besides nearly everyone has already had their version out; agreed I’m late in picking up my tags, but I do DO them finally. Better late than never, so here comes…

Am going on about the Bangalore Bloggers Meet of course.

Date: Fri, 16th May 2008.
Venue: Aargee’s lovely home
Subject: Mama-and-lone Non-Mama Bloggers Meet.
Discussed: well, this post would take a loooooooooooong time if I were to write all we discussed.
(Unanimous) Conclusion: Periodicity of meets to be increased.

Well, after a spate of mails went hither and thither, it was finally decided that some of us bloggers in B'lore would meet. Originally we were eleven, but sadly, Noodlehead had to attend to some work that cropped up suddenly and a certain Agelessbonder had a flight to catch that afternoon. (Good you decided to take a rain check, Usha, the time just FLEW!)

The day dawned bright and clear and the hours at office in the morning were fraught with anticipation. On google chat, BMom and Mama Mia and I couldn’t stop giggling about the pending meet. Worse than kids looking forward to a party, we were. Mama mia was also doing some last minute cramming on the names of the Mommas and kids and connecting them to the blogs.

At about 12.45, B’lore Mom drove up outside my office waiting for the Guide (yours truly) who would lead her to Aargee’s house. I led the way in my car (different cars because we were all going in different directions post Meet) to Forum, where we were to pick up the third blogger Mama Mia who was also lost without the Guide (yours truly). Now this was one feisty lady I’d been interacting with on a networking site for almost 2 years but hadn’t met! Incidentally, she is also the inspiration behind my blog. A big thank you, Mama Mia. If not for you, I wouldn’t have been part of the fun bunch that met up that Friday afternoon.

At Forum, we waited patiently for Mama Mia who turned up soon enough with that gamine smile of hers flashing. Well, we were on our way and reached soon enough, by 1.30. At the gates of Aargee’s apartment complex, we got out and then it was that we realized that in our excitement, none of us had remembered to take Aargee’s block/house number!
We laughed some, then, Mama Mia called up Swati who by the way, had already reached Aargee’s house. We got the necessary numbers and walked up to the respective block. Chattering nineteen to the dozen. Those of you who know BMom, will agree that its impossible to be quiet around her. She’s effervescence personified! Bubbling over with things to talk about and totally enthusiastic with her topics. I wonder how Kuttan will be at the stage when they can’t stop talking you know.... *wink* ok, enough of pulling BMom’s legs.

Inside the block, we met another young lady, who seemed sure she was coming to the right place, but not very certain as to what exactly she’d find there… Had to be another Momma blogger of course, we deduced. Well, we were a bit off the mark. It was a blogger, but not a momma yet. That was CD. We introduced ourselves with smiles, the excitement mounting all the while.. and proceeded up in the lift.

Outside the door, we rang the bell. The door was opened by a lady and then two other ladies stood peeping a little behind, another further behind. Now who to look at??? Who was who??? The ladies all sported warm, welcoming, curious smiles and then, chatter broke out again as introductions were made again. Poppins I already knew, she, BMom and myself having met up in a very very impromptu, very very enjoyable manner some days back..
CoS was old and new, as was Swati. How do you explain the way you know a person so well, and yet you don’t know who she is? You know her family, her views, her thoughts. The only things left were a face and a voice. Well. We got that too that afternoon.

CoS was warm and very very familiar. Didn’t realize it then, but later- of course! She looked so like Krittika!.

Swati looked the youngest of the lot, very pretty in a yellow- ok green if you insist, Swati- kurta.

Poppins Mom didn’t look any more pregnant than she did the first time I met her, but she did look way more hawt! There was no way I fitted into jeans when I was in my 7th month. But then, she lifted her top and showed me the elastic waist, so I was satisfied. As were the others.

Aargee was exceptionally pretty as well, and I fell in love with her skirt and her house- you can take it in whichever order you like. Her little one, the sole male in a house full of ladies was enjoying all the attention, to say nothing of the chips!

Compulsive Dreamer, sweet and thoughtful, gave Aargee our hostess a lovely bunch of flowers. And then, the aftermath of the baby shower clearly continuing, gave another bunch to Poppins Mom as well, the MTB in our midst.

We oohed and aahed at the flowers. And then, we were at it again. Chatting, laughing, nodding, listening, smiling, …. at babies, husbands, in-laws, work, bosses, issues, pregnancies, common blogfriends, MTBs, the baby shower ….In between Aargee would distractedly exclaim/run after lil Aditya who was clearly having none of his Mama’s disciplining. Why! so many ladies were having such fun, and he was to be denied of some of his own fun? No Way, Amma! was what he seemed to be trying to convey.

And then, the bell rang again. It was Kiran. Whose driver didn’t know that she was coming to a Blogmeet, but certainly gave her a darshan of Namma Bengalooru. That he charged her a bomb is another issue. But Kiran certainly looked a bomb, so he can be excused, is my reasoning.

Well, once we were finished with the introductions, we were back to it again…chatting, laughing, nodding, listening, smiling…. In between, Swati and Aargee clicked pictures and we tried to pose prettily, but were too caught up in all the talk to pose. Aditya was looking verrrrrrry sleepy by now, but firmly refused all efforts by his Amma to get him to go to sleep. It was getting time for lunch now, but the food hadn’t arrived yet!

The bell rang one more time- lunch had arrived! The table was laid and we had a delicious fare of parathas, aalu, rajma and salad, topped by a sinfully delicious cake Swati had brought.

And then, sadly, it was time for Mama Mia to leave, Friday being the busiest day of the week for her. But not before she gave out these cute little gifts personally addressed to all our little ones from Cubbyr, her little one (now I knew why she’d been asking me the names of all the little ones earlier that morning) and vibrant little caps as well from a popular radio station, for all of us.

By now Aditya had gone off to sleep in his Amma’s arms, tired out by all the excitement and the running around with his Bomb Aunty and others. And Bmom, Swati, Kiran and myself also decided to call it a day, even though it had been such fun. And BMom decided to call her husband to see if he was on his way yet, and - gave a scream! He was already there! The hapless man had been waiting down, outside the complex, on the road, in the hot sun, for over half an hour. He’d been unable to reach her on her phone. Needless, to say, the goodbyes were super fast after that.

CoS and Poppins Mom giving in to Aargee’s entreaties to stay back some more time, stayed back. And waved the rest of us on our way. We saw Kiran into the car and ensured that the meter was on, and that there would be only one Bomb in the taxi this time. Smiled cheerfully at BMom’s husband who was so politely smiling in front of us inspite of the fuming that must have been going on inside…BMom assured us that sure, she was going to get an earful…
And then, Swati and I made our way to our side of the city.

It was a time well spent and well enjoyed. Four solid hours of bonhomie and bonding that spilled over from the comments section on the blog to real life..
When is the next one coming up, ladies?

Sunday, May 18, 2008

For better and for worse..

Whoever wrote the marriage lines sure knew what she was doing. I have my doubts that it was a he. They don't possess that level of sensitivity, you know.

Suma tagged me for 10 things I hate about men some few weeks back. Now how is it, that before marriage, men were so many in the universe, but after marriage, esp when you talk of things you dislike (and obviously would like changed- futile hope, I know, but I still live in hope) all men distil into the one I married?

I do love him to bits tho' I don't show it- not at all in these these past coupla years, my dear husband, but I do love you . LOTS. More probably than when I fell in love with you, for if I'd known then that you had all these, gasp! frailties, I would have run miles away. OUT of earshot.
LOL! Sigh! But you don't know before getting married, do you, that-

- Fella loves his morning cuppa tea more than me? It sure looks like that to me, when sometimes my delay in making that can lead to most Godawful row. Bah! I never liked tea too much, but now I positively HATE it. Not the husband, please note.

- Before getting married, I also never knew that he would leave his shirt/trouser pocket's pickings on the dining table. The tables we dined on prior to mariage had these lovely waiters who cleaned. I find I don't like having become the waiter in our house.

- And oh! how could I relegate this to third place? the b****y TV remote takes pride of place. While we were courting, and even in the first year of our marriage, books reigned. We discussed loads of stuff. with laughter and love. And what TV we watched, we did so together. With no thought to where the remote was, for there was place on that slim diwan only for the two of us.
But now,OOOOOOOOO! yeh kahaaan aa gaye hum..???? If you asked the husband what single thing if lost, would make said husband desperate and lonesome, it wouldn't be me, people, but the darned remote!!!! Gah! I call it my Sout. Anybody know how to throttle the living daylights out of a remote control?

This is common, Suma.
Husband- Wife, do you knnow where xyz is????
Wife- Its on/under/beside whatever.
Husband- Where? Its not here.
Wife- It is there. Below/above whatever.
Husband- I can't see it anywhere here...
Wife- Look properly, husband.
Husband- It is NOT here. Why can't you come and help me find it?
Wife- *pulling the damn thing out from exactly where she so clearly told him it was* then WHAT IS THIS????
******* *** *******

- Prior to marriage, I didn't know that I would have to be the one to put his smelly home wear into the laundry, never him.
- Also, be the one picking the many newspapers splayed on the sofa, never him.
- be the one bothered about keeping the house clean.

Another oft repeated scene earlier

Husband- wife, can you massage my neck/shoulders/legs for me, please?
Wife- Ok. sit in front of me *proceeds to give a thorough massage, kneading and straightening all the knots out*
Husband- ah! that was divine, wife. Thank you.
Wife- ignoring, but gratified grunt.
Companionable silence reigns.
Wife- Husband, can you massage my neck/shoulders/legs for me, please?
Husband- For you, anything, my darling. *proceeds to do come chop-chop actions which end up giving the wife a bigger, focussed pain instead of earlier vague ache.
Wife- Husband. Do it like I do it for you. Not like this.
Husband- This is how my barber does it for me. But if you say so. *Proceeds to do same chop-chop in a different area, ensuring two focussed areas of pain*.
Wife- Husband. Forget I asked you to do anything. *Moves away and sits fuming that the fellow can emulate the barber, but not his wife, who he also agrees does it so well.*
Husband- *Puts on a good-husband-snubbed-by-never-satisfied-wife-look and- goes back to watching tv!
Ominous silence reigns.
Part II

Enter Sonny boy.
I certainly didn't expect to be throwing up 24 hrs, all 8 months while Hubby gorged on all things delicious that were ostensibly brought for me. But he kinda made up for that with the patience with which he would get up a 2 am and make dosas for preggie me. :-)
It was not fair that only I ended up getting sliced up to get Sonny boy out, but the smile on his face when he held Sonny boy first in his arms made up for that too.

Alright. Lets get back to business. We're talking hate here, not love. And this time, its about real issues.

- I do not like being EXPECTED to do everything for Sonny boy, do all housework and go out and work too. I was not born doing all these things, anymore than he was. I might be doing it, cos we need to do things together, for us to live the kind of life we want and want to give Sonny boy as well. But then, I picked up certain skill sets along the way, and I would love it if he did too. That he dosn't think it a big favour done to me if one day he does certain things for Sonny boy. Friend, he's as much your son as mine, ergo, we need to re-work job profiles and responsibilities.

- I am NOT your mother, nor do I want to be her. In all fairness, I do not expect you to be my father. We have a son to whom we can each be mother and father. I am your wife. And you are my husband. Its an equal partnership. If I stay at home and look after our home and son, then too its equal- bringing up your son oftentimes requires more energy and patience than getting business (and is also more rewarding). if I also work outside the home, then its more equal.

- And my biggest crib of all, my dear husband. I do NOT like our home being demeaned to the likes of a hotel. Where people come in and go as they please. With no accountability whatsoever towards us and our home. With absolutely no love lost between said parties. I would not expect you to put up with such guests from my end for 6 long b****y years. I would either have set the people right, failing which I would have sent them packing. LONG back. Not left sores to fester to a point beyond return. Where they are currently. And you still refuse to see it.

I pass this tag to whosoever would like to take it up.